I like the way it hurts.
So I haven't updated.... You all know this, so here are the highlights of 2010 for me.
I got a roommate, then she broke my arm while we were riding bikes. A month later I had to put my dog down, the first dog I'd ever had, he got really sick at the end, wasn't eating, throwing up a lot, he was old it was terrible, so we let him go. Broke my heart. The next week one of my childhood friends was murdered, in my opinion. His father shot him in the chest. He was only 17, we were about to graduate, I found out in the worst way too. It was 3rd period and I heard the boy next to me say to my teacher " Hey did you hear about that kid? The one who's dad shot him in the chest?" she said she didn't hear about it and asked his name, the kid next to me said " I don't know what his name was, but we called him patches because of the white patch of hair on his head" and that's when it hit me and I lost it in class. It was Brian Macias, look him up in Google, you will find the news reports...two weeks later his older brother " died in his sleep ". Then at the funeral his father hugged me... I don't think I will ever forget that moment, and I don't think I will understand the way I felt either. A Month later an incident happened and I had a huge cutting relapse, but the deepest, messiest, and most quantity I've ever done. Now I have a pit bull puppy, 7 months old now, total handful. I graduated from high school June 17th. Made a 5x6 foot mosaic in the Monrovia community center. Now I'm just trying to live my life, been really hard. Really ridiculously hard. Feeling pretty bad at the moment... want to fall off the planet, or curl so tight into a ball that I just get smaller and smaller until there is nothing left. I want to apologise to the SIC for missing my duty for so long, Life just hit me really hard...
